Gratitude

Amid these Christmas preparations I wanted to tell you that the other day, when I was coming home from work and was driving through a wood near our village, it struck me how much my life has changed recently. Partly from the outside and more importantly from the inside, but it’s all intertwined and interlinked, isn’t it?

I wanted to add that there were times in my life a few years ago when crashing my car head-on into a tree seemed like a good solution to all the bad feelings and thoughts I had. I never tried, just let the idea in and out, but the depressive thought was there. On that particular day that I mentioned above, this idea suddenly came back to me but it felt oh so different. Like something I read in a book once and remember it but can’t identify myself with. That made me feel so grateful for all the good and beautiful that I have in my life and don’t appreciate properly, the feeling was quite surprising and overwhelming. And I know I could have even more of the good and beautiful if only I was willing to accept things I can’t change and moved on.

I wanted to elaborate that a feeling of being grateful may arise various inner reactions, it utterly depends on to whom or what we are supposed to be grateful. The feeling can make us happy, balanced and calm but also annoyed, angry and humbled. What do we choose and what do we make out of it?

But then I thought about how personal this is and actually, why would I want to share it now, at the dawn of Christmas? Well, maybe it’s because of the atmosphere of Advent festivities, maybe it’s because of the hope that Christmas represents, and maybe it’s the strength and inner peacefulness the gratitude has given me that I wanted to share. We all have our fights and somehow this seems to be the right time to speak about it…

It’s way too easy to overlook the good for the bad and being grateful for the good (and sometimes – with hindsight – even for the seemingly bad) helps.